Anticipation

The first story that stood out to me in this section labeled Anticipation was the third one. This one reminded me of the first day jitters I could see myself feeling as I entered my first day at my first teaching job. Much like this teacher, I feel as though I would question what I say and wonder if I can gain my students trust. Looking at the blank faces in front of me is unsettling, but I must think about how they too have similar feelings.  Generally, fears give us the opportunity to grow. Moving past fears makes one a stronger person, this story allows me to see how she reflects on what she has learned and moves past her initial fear to connect better with her students. She seems to improve her speech, and it turns out wonderfully for her because she is able to explain herself and connect with her students. This passage shows that though there will be struggles and moments where I might feel intimidated and a bit scared, my students will be open to hearing me and connecting with me. Everyone struggles with fears, but it is perseverance that gets us through and allows us to work past our fears. As a teachers, I must remember this and use this example as a way to show that one can move past fear and accomplish what he or she wants, which in this teachers case was connecting to her students.

Another story that moved me on a deeper level was the fourth story. I always associate teachers with happiness and moments of joy. Generally, I am not thinking of negatives when I look into the future. However, after reading this teacher’s story, I was reminded that at times this job is difficult and the guidelines one follows can be blurred. The idea of a student getting so angry with you that she lashes out is not one I have often thought about. This teacher’s entry left me wondering about what I would do in that situation. As a teacher, you want the best for your students but how do you know how to help them when the system of justice is not what you thought it was? How do we know when we can or cannot help our students? How do we handle situations when our students are fighting us? Do we stop them? Are we able to try to stop them? This story deals with fear in a very different way then the previous story. This teacher feared for her safety and her students’ safety. She did not anticipate this dilemma happening, but it happened and she did her best to handle it well. Horrified by this story, it makes me wonder where one crosses the line between what is right and wrong. This story shows that aspects of teaching are not always black and white because student interests are always different and sometimes cannot be reached. I may not always fix every problem, but I will show them that someone cares and is fighting for them, and that is what matters most.
Source: Gruwell, Erin. Teaching Hope: Stories from the Freedom Writer Teachers and Erin Gruwell. New York: Broadway, 2009. Print.